Oh yeah, really pissed today.
Well no. It's fucking immature of me to think so because hey...I'm basically *forcing* someone to take my place in attending the opening night of a grad show. A grad show which I would be a part in making if I were still taking art, my final art year....a grad show I would attend irregardless if I was still studying art for the sole fact my friends would be there, a grad show that I would most likely brave to a SARs infested city to attend it. If cost and ludicrousness (in excess of $1000 flight return trip for a fucking art show) was not a factor, along with family.
The thing is I think it might be a lot of things. Most importantly that it would be a somewhat of a throw-back to my old art collective (of still the same said art friends) Propaganda Art Collective. My shining moment of art thus far was back then. In some ways this grad show was almost like it. Instead that it has proper funding and is in an actual art facility, not a house. So it'd be more of a throw forward. Although lacking in the Bohemian style, it would be art instead. And who the fuck am I to force a friend to go to an art show where he had no interaction with the world of friends that I have there. He just doesn't have the same connection (and un-worldly fixation) on it.
The really thing that irks me is that I'm actually kinda angry at him at the time he told me. Playfully angry, as much as the internet would warrent, but I did in fact set this meeting up with a lot of my art friends, even my profs in order to watch out for him. Treat him as if he were me. But it's not that I'm angry at that as well, I'm angry at the fact that I'm somewhat fucking angry at the intervention GF. Not *at* his GF mind you, but the sole count that task they had to do, had to be done on this night.
This has been the first time I've been really pissed off that a GF of any of my friends has interfered with plans. I usually really dont' fucking fucking fucking care, really because hey, I respect that, they have to spend time with them.
It's so weird since it's not really *my* plans such as I was physically in Vancouver ready to take my friend out on the town of grad art and he just bailed. I think it's more deep rooted in my zero experience with true love and the fucking fact that I treasure art waaaaaaaaay more than what any other human being could offer me in terms of love. In some way I guess art is the *only* thing I have as sorts of emotional love or something like it. It was like "A girl OVER ART? WTF?"
Not to mention the fact that I know what this grad show means to my friends (even if they suffer from 'art burn out' at this time), and I kind of know the whole process of putting on a show. I know how much shit they had to do to prepare for this show, basically planning since the beginning of their fourth year. An *entire year* to plan this event. In some ways I feel that I let my friends down if I don't do some attempt to send someone in my place. Even if they don't give a fuck about me, I give a fuck about them.
ARGH...I'm so immature! But such is weird association and logic.
Well no. It's fucking immature of me to think so because hey...I'm basically *forcing* someone to take my place in attending the opening night of a grad show. A grad show which I would be a part in making if I were still taking art, my final art year....a grad show I would attend irregardless if I was still studying art for the sole fact my friends would be there, a grad show that I would most likely brave to a SARs infested city to attend it. If cost and ludicrousness (in excess of $1000 flight return trip for a fucking art show) was not a factor, along with family.
The thing is I think it might be a lot of things. Most importantly that it would be a somewhat of a throw-back to my old art collective (of still the same said art friends) Propaganda Art Collective. My shining moment of art thus far was back then. In some ways this grad show was almost like it. Instead that it has proper funding and is in an actual art facility, not a house. So it'd be more of a throw forward. Although lacking in the Bohemian style, it would be art instead. And who the fuck am I to force a friend to go to an art show where he had no interaction with the world of friends that I have there. He just doesn't have the same connection (and un-worldly fixation) on it.
The really thing that irks me is that I'm actually kinda angry at him at the time he told me. Playfully angry, as much as the internet would warrent, but I did in fact set this meeting up with a lot of my art friends, even my profs in order to watch out for him. Treat him as if he were me. But it's not that I'm angry at that as well, I'm angry at the fact that I'm somewhat fucking angry at the intervention GF. Not *at* his GF mind you, but the sole count that task they had to do, had to be done on this night.
This has been the first time I've been really pissed off that a GF of any of my friends has interfered with plans. I usually really dont' fucking fucking fucking care, really because hey, I respect that, they have to spend time with them.
It's so weird since it's not really *my* plans such as I was physically in Vancouver ready to take my friend out on the town of grad art and he just bailed. I think it's more deep rooted in my zero experience with true love and the fucking fact that I treasure art waaaaaaaaay more than what any other human being could offer me in terms of love. In some way I guess art is the *only* thing I have as sorts of emotional love or something like it. It was like "A girl OVER ART? WTF?"
Not to mention the fact that I know what this grad show means to my friends (even if they suffer from 'art burn out' at this time), and I kind of know the whole process of putting on a show. I know how much shit they had to do to prepare for this show, basically planning since the beginning of their fourth year. An *entire year* to plan this event. In some ways I feel that I let my friends down if I don't do some attempt to send someone in my place. Even if they don't give a fuck about me, I give a fuck about them.
ARGH...I'm so immature! But such is weird association and logic.
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